I finally figured out why Mike's an atheist

So, today, Mike and I had the following conversation:

Me: Mike, we need to talk about the kitchen.

Mike: What?

Me: It's about "putting things away." You see, when you put snacks on the counter, they are not actually "put away." And there's a corollary here, as well, which is that when snacks go into the snack cupboard, they do not cease to exist. I keep putting biscuits in the snack cupboard, where they become elderly, and you keep going to the shop and buying new biscuits and then putting them on the counter.

Mike (sounding hurt): Why must you hide my biscuits?

We continued to have a short discussion, in which Mike put forth his argument that things would be so much better if one could walk into the kitchen, and immediately ascertain whether or not snacks were available, and, if so, in what variety, without the need for any pesky cupboard-opening. I continued to posit that snacks do not need to be on the countertop in order to exist.

As we talked, I continued to wipe the countertop. While doing so, I accidentally brushed some pennies on the floor.

Me: Ooo, pennies from heaven.

Mike: That is, if heaven were on the countertop.

*lights go on*

Me: That's it. You don't believe in the existence of heaven because it is not on the countertop!

...on second thought, maybe you had to be there.