THE ZOO

Sunday, we decided to go to the zoo. As we started walking, I thought I must have gotten more out of shape recently, because I was very tired and it seemed like an awful lot of work. It only took a few hours for me to remember that I'd spent the entire previous day gardening, and so it was vaguely possible that this might be a contributing factor.

One of the purposes of going to the zoo was to visit the pygmy hippos that Michael had adopted on my behalf as a birthday present. We learned a valuable lesson that day: many animals are smart enough to stay indoors when it is far too hot outside.

We were waiting on the train platform, and it was hot. I went to get a coke out of the machine, and it gave me two for my pound, which seemed a sure sign to me that the day was going to be JUST FABULOUS.

As we were standing there, Michael decided to break wind loudly, and with obvious enjoyment, (I wrote 'relish' there first, but then realised that it looked like he was breaking wind with a condiment.) which led to the following conversation:

Me: Oh, baby, it's so hot when you do that.

Michael: I know. All women feel that way.

Me: And yet you never see that mentioned in ads that women place on dating websiates in the list of qualities that they are looking for.

Michael: That is because it is ASSUMED. You know, like "big cock." They only have so many letters, after all, and they don't want to waste them stating the obvious. "Vivacious thirty-something with massive gazongas seeks big cock and farting."

Will finish this story later....