TEN THINGS THAT GAG ME ABOUT ENGLAND
I really do love this country, just as I love the US. When I first moved here, I felt like I couldn't really say anything bad about the place, because, you know, the classic Ugly American is the one who disses every other place s/he visits. And also, I knew that there was quite a bit of learning about the culture I needed to do before I felt like I could say that I didn't like things, as opposed to there just being differences that I wasn't used to.
However, now I have been here for long enough that I don't feel guilty or weird about admitting that there are some things over here that just gag me. Just like the US--it's home and I love it, which is one of the reasons I feel free to say that some things just plain...well...gag me.
So, in no particular order, here are ten things that gag me about England:
1. Unrefrigerated eggs. You heard me. People over here don't put eggs in the fridge. I'm sorry, that's just gross.
2. Unrefrigerated coke. See above. Gag.
3. Customer disservice. If you haven't lived here, you would be absolutely shocked by the complete lack of any kind of customer service. Anything goes wrong, and the company in question just plain couldn't care less about fixing it and making sure you are satisfied. Even if they're doing something illegal, you very often pretty much have to take them to some kind of mediation or court before they'll budge. It's utterly outrageous.
4. No tumble dryers.
5. No Mexican or Ethiopian food. On the rare occasions on which I've found a Mexican restaurant, it's always tex-mex. Not that I don't like tex-mex, but it's not really a "Mexican" restaurant if the only Mexican item on the menu is a fajita. The rest is all barbecued ribs, etc. Um, sorry, not actually Mexican. I'm serious--literally the only Mexican item is fajitas, or possibly fajitas and nachos. And come on, Ethiopia is closer to here than to the US!
6. Overt male sluttishness. I'm not sure how else to describe this. However, in this country it is considered perfectly okay, natural, and obvious that men, whether they are married, single, committed bachelors, in a relationship, or in any other state other than gay, should look at women and discuss in detail what they think of their breasts, their general sexual appeal, and that sort of thing. I really don't like it. I try hard to adjust to the fact that the general opinion is that admiration is natural and they have no intention of following through, but I actually really appreciate the fact that in the US it is assumed that if you are in a relationship, especially if married, that you should try not to have these kinds of thoughts and reactions.
Over here, that's considered unnatural, dishonest, and impossible. I don't think it is, because I think that part of our job as decent adult humans is to recognise that sometimes we think things that we shouldn't, and we try to overcome that. Maybe that's just a function of being a Messianic Jewish/Christian person. But I also think it's part of being happy.
For example, the other day I found myself getting irritated because Mike hadn't taken something outside. I will admit that there may have been some kind of hormonal element to this. But I stopped myself, and thought, look, you can choose whether or not to turn your relationship into one of these perpetual fights about who has let whom down more often, and who is more persecuted or works harder than whom. I know lots of people with that relationship. I don't want that. Realistically, he's usually pretty good about doing the things that are "his responsibility", eventually, and sometimes you just have to let it go.
It's the same thing. Looking at other women is doing a bit of a disservice to the one you're with, and you can choose whether or not to do so.
Okay, that's a lot of talk about one point, but there you go.
7. Not rinsing dishes. This really grosses me out. Over half of the people I've met over here put soapy water in the sink, wash the dishes, and then put them in the dish drainer without rinsing them. Eww.
8. Dinky refrigerators. Normal-sized refrigerators are referred to as "American style." Those half-fridges used by posher college students are the norm over here. Which leads me to....
9. Nobody cooks! The baking section of the larger grocery stores is basically aboutr four feet wide and seven feet tall. That's it. There is row after row after row of pre-prepared food. Which explains why nobody has a real refrigerator.
10. Expensive shoes. Mind you, I like shoes, and I have been known to spend over $100 on a pair of shoes. But the thing is, if you look at the exchange rate, and you see that a £40 pair of shoes is $80 in "real" money (hee), you think, oh, that should be a pretty decent pair of shoes. Not necessarily a shoegasm, but ones that I like. But over here, you'll spend £40 on shoes that are the ones that you say, "Well, I need a pair of black flats, I need them right away, and these will do, I guess." $80 is not "Oh, well, I guess these will do." $80 is "I like these shoes."
I'm sure I'll think of things that gag me more, but those are my ten for now.
I really do love this country, just as I love the US. When I first moved here, I felt like I couldn't really say anything bad about the place, because, you know, the classic Ugly American is the one who disses every other place s/he visits. And also, I knew that there was quite a bit of learning about the culture I needed to do before I felt like I could say that I didn't like things, as opposed to there just being differences that I wasn't used to.
However, now I have been here for long enough that I don't feel guilty or weird about admitting that there are some things over here that just gag me. Just like the US--it's home and I love it, which is one of the reasons I feel free to say that some things just plain...well...gag me.
So, in no particular order, here are ten things that gag me about England:
1. Unrefrigerated eggs. You heard me. People over here don't put eggs in the fridge. I'm sorry, that's just gross.
2. Unrefrigerated coke. See above. Gag.
3. Customer disservice. If you haven't lived here, you would be absolutely shocked by the complete lack of any kind of customer service. Anything goes wrong, and the company in question just plain couldn't care less about fixing it and making sure you are satisfied. Even if they're doing something illegal, you very often pretty much have to take them to some kind of mediation or court before they'll budge. It's utterly outrageous.
4. No tumble dryers.
5. No Mexican or Ethiopian food. On the rare occasions on which I've found a Mexican restaurant, it's always tex-mex. Not that I don't like tex-mex, but it's not really a "Mexican" restaurant if the only Mexican item on the menu is a fajita. The rest is all barbecued ribs, etc. Um, sorry, not actually Mexican. I'm serious--literally the only Mexican item is fajitas, or possibly fajitas and nachos. And come on, Ethiopia is closer to here than to the US!
6. Overt male sluttishness. I'm not sure how else to describe this. However, in this country it is considered perfectly okay, natural, and obvious that men, whether they are married, single, committed bachelors, in a relationship, or in any other state other than gay, should look at women and discuss in detail what they think of their breasts, their general sexual appeal, and that sort of thing. I really don't like it. I try hard to adjust to the fact that the general opinion is that admiration is natural and they have no intention of following through, but I actually really appreciate the fact that in the US it is assumed that if you are in a relationship, especially if married, that you should try not to have these kinds of thoughts and reactions.
Over here, that's considered unnatural, dishonest, and impossible. I don't think it is, because I think that part of our job as decent adult humans is to recognise that sometimes we think things that we shouldn't, and we try to overcome that. Maybe that's just a function of being a Messianic Jewish/Christian person. But I also think it's part of being happy.
For example, the other day I found myself getting irritated because Mike hadn't taken something outside. I will admit that there may have been some kind of hormonal element to this. But I stopped myself, and thought, look, you can choose whether or not to turn your relationship into one of these perpetual fights about who has let whom down more often, and who is more persecuted or works harder than whom. I know lots of people with that relationship. I don't want that. Realistically, he's usually pretty good about doing the things that are "his responsibility", eventually, and sometimes you just have to let it go.
It's the same thing. Looking at other women is doing a bit of a disservice to the one you're with, and you can choose whether or not to do so.
Okay, that's a lot of talk about one point, but there you go.
7. Not rinsing dishes. This really grosses me out. Over half of the people I've met over here put soapy water in the sink, wash the dishes, and then put them in the dish drainer without rinsing them. Eww.
8. Dinky refrigerators. Normal-sized refrigerators are referred to as "American style." Those half-fridges used by posher college students are the norm over here. Which leads me to....
9. Nobody cooks! The baking section of the larger grocery stores is basically aboutr four feet wide and seven feet tall. That's it. There is row after row after row of pre-prepared food. Which explains why nobody has a real refrigerator.
10. Expensive shoes. Mind you, I like shoes, and I have been known to spend over $100 on a pair of shoes. But the thing is, if you look at the exchange rate, and you see that a £40 pair of shoes is $80 in "real" money (hee), you think, oh, that should be a pretty decent pair of shoes. Not necessarily a shoegasm, but ones that I like. But over here, you'll spend £40 on shoes that are the ones that you say, "Well, I need a pair of black flats, I need them right away, and these will do, I guess." $80 is not "Oh, well, I guess these will do." $80 is "I like these shoes."
I'm sure I'll think of things that gag me more, but those are my ten for now.
posted by Simone @ 1:57 AM
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