BRITISH NON-HUMOR

Today, I had the following exchange of emails with my recruiter:

Me: So what can you seriously tell me about the company? I'm guessing that there are five people who mostly outsource.

Andy: There are more like 30 people! Smart casual, open plan office - no closed doors. To be honest the woman I spoke to on reception was a bit new, and more than slightly dim sounding, but at least we can set your expectations right about the size...

Hope this is marginally helpful.

Me: Thank you!

Now I know that when I get there, I should try to avoid using any Big Words with the receptionist. Not that there's really much danger of anything else. I have been reliably informed that I used the word "awesome" at least three times in a telephone conversation last night.

Andy: cool.

Me: wicked.

Andy: sweet

Me: slammin'

Andy: sorted

Me: You're totally making that one up. You figure, hey, she's American, I can just type random words and she'll assume that they actually mean something over here.

I'm sure that's how "bootylicious" started.

Andy: no no no - sorted is east london for 'it's taken care of' hence the joke;

how did the packet of crisps react when offered drugs?

'no thanks I'm 'ready sorted'

Me: That joke makes no sense whatsoever. You're still making this up, albeit now with cleverly-contrived anecdotal evidence.

Andy: The point of the joke is this. There's a flavour of crisps (chips to you) called 'ready salted' basically salt and vinegar without the vinegar. The packet of crisps is therefore simultaneously saying 'I'm ready salted in flavour' and 'no thank you I already have drugs'.

there - see?

Me: Your joke still makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. However, you would do well working for Cherie Blair.

Andy: re my joke - the humour results in the fact that

No thanks I'm already sorted (out for drugs)

sounds vaguely like

No thanks I'm Ready Salted

leading to further, more bizzare humourous imaginings that maybe ready salted crisps are less inclined to drug abuse that more reckless flavours like cheese and onion for example.

Me: No, no, stop already. Oh, my aching sides.

Andy: But do you get it now?