HELL FIRE CAVES AND TEAROOM

Let's see.

Friday, I went home, and didn't do a heck of a lot. I may have watched a DVD or napped. I am *that* cool.

Saturday, I went into my backyard and tried to come up with the most diplomatic way to phrase something to my neighbors. So far, this is what I have:

Option #1

Could we try not to kill any more of my plants, or break any more plant pots? Thanks. That would really work for me.

Option #2

If one more of my plants dies, it is taking some building contractors with it.

Option #3

My fuschias are not going to be the only ones losing limbs out here.

I also decided that I am not going to tell the construction workers, "I wish you hadn't destroyed my clematis."

You would not believe the carnage. It's horrible. They UPROOTED plants. They completely smashed plant pots. The plants that have not had these indignities forced upon them have huge chunks of brick that fell from the third floor onto them, killing them. I don't know if I have mentioned this, but I sort of have a thing for gardening, and have a few thousand dollars' worth of plants on my back patio. Scratch that--had. I now have maybe $1.50 worth of plants. I am upset.

I also cleaned house and watched DVDs. Woo.

Sunday, I picked up Andrew and we went to Hell Fire Caves and Tearoom. Yes, that is what I said. These are these caves that were dug out under a mausoleum, and then had super-secret meetings of the Hell Fire Club in them. It's cool. Why Hell Fire Club? In the words of Andrew, "The St. Francis Men's Association was too long and didn't have 'Hell' in it."

We also visited the graveyard and mausoleum, and a garden nursery, where I picked up a few tiny fuschias to make myself feel better, and Andrew bought a giant wicker chicken. He is going to put a tiny real chicken inside the wicker chicken, and set it alight while the little chicken recites Bible verses. If you have never seen The Wicker Man, you have no idea what I'm talking about.

After that, I went back to Andrew's house and hung out with Keith and Neil while Andrew wandered off to fix someone's laptop. Pizza and the Simpsons. I find myself empathising with the people who want to eliminate Family Privileges.

The end.