So, the latest with my flatmate.

My friend, Sarah, came over the other day, and in the course of the evening, we had beverages. Offering beverages is just one of those things you do with guests.

When she left, the house was again spotless, although somewhere or other I had missed the beverage mugs. This is pretty normal for me--after guests leave, I generally find, like two weeks later, some kind of thing, like a water bottle under the bed, or a mug on my dresser, or whatever.

So anyway, my flatmate came by last night, and walked up to me and asked, "So, what's the deal with the mugs?" I realised that he must mean because a couple of them were missing from the cupboard, so I said, "Oh, I had guests over the other day, and it usually takes a couple of days for me to notice that I missed a mug or whatever."

"Well," he said, "from now on you should tell your guests that they are only allowed to place things in one small spot."

"Oh, yeah, I'll really keep them that way," I responded.

This guy can be such an idiot.

Yes, he actually does complain if a mug is misplaced somewhere in the house. I'm not even talking about something out of place in the kitchen. I'm talking about, Sarah left a mug in my bedroom.

I think he made up a story about a mouse the other day. He said that he saw a mouse in the house. I am 98% sure that this is because I had left a loaf of bread on the counter--in the breadbasket. You know, where it belongs. But he prefers it if the house looks like nobody lives there. So he said that he saw a mouse, and that "we" have to be very careful about not leaving food out.

I swear, some people should just not have flatmates. I mean, if you cannot handle having a person who keeps the house as well as I do, then you honestly cannot handle having a flatmate at all.

The thing is, I will fully cop to having been a slob at times when I was living alone. But I was conscious of having a flatmate, and so I've been keeping all common areas spotless, and my room relatively spotless. You know, always made bed, things generally put away unless I've been terribly busy, that kind of thing.

This guy is a freak.