ROAD TRIP BINGO AND OTHER DIVERSIONS

So anyway, we were trying to figure out what to do on July 4. We were all exhausted, especially me--I haven't been sleeping.

Patriotic holidays in redneck towns are always a thing of fear and wonder. Patriotic holidays post-September 11 are also a thing of fear and wonder. Patriotic holidays in redneck towns post-September 11 cross the border from fear and wonder into terror and loathing.

The countryside and its inhabitants have sprouted red, white and blue like some kind of tricolor rash. You can proclaim your nationalistic pride by buying spray-painted mums at Wal-Mart. The grocery store a block away is selling PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN t-shirts in addition to the standard flag-on-a-stick and bumper sticker fare.

I've never really been much of a nationalist/patriot in general, but recent events make the whole thing seem even more of a travesty. There was a time when I believed that the privileges that I enjoy in this country were here as a result of good Americans fighting for truth, justice, human rights, and democracy. Now I hear George W. Bush saying that we're bombing some mountains in Afghanistan to "preserve our way of life," and I think, "What way of life?" We're fighting for freedom--the freedom to have Daddy fix an election to get us into office.

It's not that I'm not grateful to live here. I'd last about five minutes in a country that required its women to adopt a subservient attitude. It's just that I'm increasingly aware of the fact that my freedom is only the product of my race, education, class, and religion, and that my privileges come at someone else's expense.

The thing is, I don't want to wear Nike tennis shoes if I can go to the store and get the cool kind while someone in a third-world country is putting them together in a sweat-shop, and wars are being fought and elections fixed in order to keep me from thinking too hard about it.

And I don't want to spend my time concentrating on which house in the suburbs I want to live in, when there are people who are being held without trial or representation because they're named things like "Mohammed" or "Hassan."

It just makes me sick to hear everyone talking about how righteous we are and how we're fighting for this righteousness. We have fits about Israelis "racially profiling" Palestinians, stopping and searching them when they cross into Jerusalem, to try to stop the suicide bombing. But somehow it's all right if we make every Kuwaiti stop to be searched and fingerprinted when they enter our airports.

Anyway, enough of a rant.

So basically, we've never really "celebrated" July 4 in my family, not for any deliberate reason, but probably just because we don't get worked up about it or anything. But, of course, fireworks would be going off all over, and random explosions are always something I can get behind.

We decided to take a road trip and then do a barbecue to cheer ourselves up. After spending several hours engaging in "I don't know; where do you want to go?" behavior, we decided to go to the Grand Coulee Dam. We stopped off for snacks, and got out these Road Trip Bingo cards that had been created by Martha Stewart, for our Road Trip Enjoyment.

Martha Stewart's Road Trip Bingo cards have these little pictures of things you may encounter on the road, in a Bingo format, so that you can cross them off and entertain the Young 'uns. They include a horse, a dog, a stop sign, a freeway exit sign, and things like that.

As we drove along, it quickly became obvious that these cards were not sufficient for our purposes, and completely inappropriate for this area. Charity was eternally on the alert for a Freeway Exit sign to complete her row, seeing one in every cloud and pasture.

So we did what any normal people would do. We started fantasizing about our own Road Trip Bingo cards, and made up a list.

When we got home, Natalie started on the grid right away, unselfishly working even though she had actual paid work that she was supposed to be doing. She's so considerate that way. Now the grid is completed, and we're just trying to find the appropriate clip art. I'll let you know when they are ready.

However, just so you can get a taste of them, *our* Bingo cards include the following:

An exploded tire. (You know, those scraps of tire that line the sides of all rural highways.)

A truck with a gun rack.

Road kill.

A motorcycle gang.

A shop advertising WORMS.

A rusted out piece of farm machinery.

Underwear on a clothesline.

We're very excited about this.

Anyway, Charity's friend, Mike, came in yesterday at the airport. Today it looks like we are going to go swimming somewhere or other. It's supposed to be in the 90s, and it's probably best if we find water.