WEIRD HOUSEMATES

You know, more and more of my life is spent in dealing with housemate-related stuff. This weekend, my housemate was gone, so I spent time madly washing my laundry, and then...well, there's all of this other stuff.

I cleaned my room, and then went in search of the vacuum cleaner, which I had previously learned he kept hidden in his room.

Evidently, he has figured out that I found it, because now he has moved it to a better hiding place. I searched the entire house and still could not find it. I don't know where it is. Wherever he put it is an ingenious hiding place.

I did, however, come across the kitchen table and chairs, which disappeared a week or two ago without warning or explanation. They were hidden in his study (another room I'm not supposed to enter) behind some big bag-like things. I'm not quite sure how one goes about touching a table and chairs incorrectly, but I'm sure I must have done so.

It's not that I could have left them dirty or anything--he's a bit of a slob when it comes to that sort of thing. But he has very precise ideas of how things must be done, and although he leaves stuff all over the house, I'm absolutely certain that if I ever left anything out of place he'd have a fit.

The funny thing is that he loves having me as a housemate and really wants me to stay there. I think this is because nobody else on the planet would put up with him. I don't think he actually realizes what unrealistic and just plain weird expectations he has for people living with him.

All right, in other frightening news, I--you know, the most non-sports-oriented person you know? I am absolutely dying over the football world cup. I have been brooding endlessly over the best way to watch it. Should I go to a pub? Watch it in the comfort of my own home?

This development is deeply disturbing to me.