INEFFECTUAL LION POO

I awoke this morning needing to use the bathroom. I know, this is too much information, and I generally wouldn't share it with you, but you see, there was an entire radio team from Radio 4 downstairs interviewing my landlord/housemate about whether or not the Lion Poo worked to scare off the kitties, and I was in my room, undressed, and thinking that if I went into the bathroom and flushed the toilet, all of Greater London would know about it, and what can I say, I was self-conscious.

But Peter loved the radio attention, and he mentioned the fact that the cats were unimpressed by the lion poo and had actually watched him spreading it. He described their interest as "frightening." Call me crazy, but I find that kind of reaction frightening.

So anyway, my entire kitchen now smells like some kind of animal urine. I think this is the result of having the cat-ridding chemicals around. I only noticed it this morning. So I'm trying to figure out why it is that cats in the back yard constitute a 'problem', whereas a kitchen smelling of urine is, evidently, a 'solution.'

It's a freakish country. That's the only explanation, and it's not a proper explanation at all.

So why didn't anyone tell me that moving to a new country turns one into a complete freak? I find myself panicking at random times for no apparent reason. I'm hoping this will go away after I have a real job. You know, with a real company that doesn't have the words 'enterprise solutions' in their marketing documents. Or even better, a company that doesn't have marketing documents. This contract work is for the birds.

Birds which aren't in our back yard because the cats have scared them off, if my landlord/housemate is to be believed.

By the way, there are NO JEWS IN LONDON. I know this because it is Passover, and I have had to go to lengths you wouldn't believe to obtain matzo. They do have something here called 'salt beef' that's supposed to be some kind of Jewish thing, so I'm trying to figure out if that's the same as pastrami or corned beef or what.

Speaking of food, Matthew just got back with some, and I'm going to go see what it is. I'll have to update this further later.

Oh, if any of you have lost my email address, it's margaretatwood@hotmail.com.