Knowing your Dog Breeds - An Open Letter

To the nasty gentleman in the dog park who pointed at my dog and said, "I don't like them. They're bred for fighting. I don't trust them." :

Jabba is an English Bulldog. Not a pit bull. Not a rottweiler. An English Bulldog.

While it's true that at one time the English Bulldog was bred for the sport of "bullbaiting," and so, technically, you could say that it was bred for fighting, this was in the 1600s. The sport was outlawed in 1837, and the bulldog hasn't been bred for that purpose since. They did try to get English Bulldogs to fight other dogs, but they failed because the breed was far too lazy. For the last 200 years or so, English Bulldogs have been bred for showing, which has made the bulldog incapable of fighting bulls or much else, as its muzzle is now too short to grip an opponent's neck, and it cannot get into the necessary state of physical fitness [see "lazy"].

I can appreciate all of the reasons people are against breeding for show, but none of these is violence- or fighting-related. They are all based on concern for the wellbeing of the dog. In the case of English Bulldogs, people are worried that the head size can cause difficulty in whelping, and that inbreeding makes them prone to breathing and hip problems. Fair enough--if you want to take me to task for owning a (rescued, by the way) pedigreed dog, we can discuss it, but it's not my dog's fault, so maybe you should consider directing your mean little pointy finger at me and leaving Jabba alone.

Incidentally, if we're going back hundreds of years, what do you think your Labrador Retriever was originally bred for? Retrieving flowers? Cookies? Lost keys? If we need be concerned that my dog might attack any nearby bulls, we need also ensure that you don't let your dog around babies, as it might mistake them for pheasants and run off with them.

If you are going to be nasty to pet owners about their choice of pet, please get to know your dog breeds a bit better so you can more effectively direct your pointing finger. While English Bulldogs do have a reputation, it is not for violence. It is for napping and farting.

If you were to say that you don't trust my dog not to make bad smells after she's eaten turkey, I'd be behind you all the way. She has, on occasion, been responsible for an odour so foul that she had to leave the room herself. She also cannot be entirely trusted around cheese. Additionally, in the presence of bacon she has been known to attempt to look both mournful and underfed. But violence? Attacking almost anything would be out of the question, as it would require getting up off of the couch.

While it is true that her squishy face might make her appear to be scary, she is, in fact, a coward. I am unafraid to write that, because she can't read, and so writing it is unlikely to hurt her tiny little doggie feelings. But it's true. A partial list of things that terrify Jabba is as follows:

The cygnet in the park. Yes, that's right, my dog is afraid of BABY SWANS.
Zippers.
Suitcases.
The hoover.
The broom.
The paper Chinese lantern in the dining room.
Carrier bags.

All of these things have at one time or another caused her to hide behind my legs or on the back porch until the scary monster is gone.

So the next time you decide to get all pointy in the dog park, I suggest you actually do some research on the breed first. However, it might be easier and more pleasant for everyone if you just to follow my dog's lead and be less confrontational and spend more time napping on the couch.

Sincerely,

Me